• Depression,  Feminist,  Musings,  Patriarchy,  ShadowWork,  Story Medicine,  Underworld Work,  Wounds of the Feminine

    PRAY WITH YOUR BODY AND YOU WILL FIND HER

    Sinking onto the floor in a puddle of child’s pose, I take a deep and sad breath in as I begin to move, to conjure up the something that has been missing in my life. My body moves in a sensual yogic dance… I WORSHIP I DANCE I PRAY I AM THE ECSTASY OF A SIMPLE SWAY And as I breathe in, I AM THE BLISS OF THE FIRST BREATH OF DAY.  Lighting a candle and setting sacred space I begin to feel them entering the room one at a time.  I call to my primal ancestors, my highest spirit guides, the energy of SHE, the Magdalene and the Christ…

  • Contributory Writer,  Introspection,  Lady Mayhem,  ShadowWork

    The Book of Madness

    The Book of Madness Before me lays a black book upon a bed of feathers, dark red stains lay upon its pages, watery drops that have come from me. A silver candle is lit to the right of it and the winds of sage ruffles its pages as it blows across from the left. A sight that makes my heart falter and my barriers drop, this is where my whole soul comes forth, this is where I do my work, my gravest work, my hardest work. Black candles await upon a silver holder engraved with spirals; with one pull of a lighter, they are ablaze. The fire flickers, making shadows…

  • Anxiety,  Patriarchy,  ShadowWork,  Story Medicine,  Wounds of the Feminine

    The Anxiety of Being Stalked

    A large pawed tiger was stalking my back today and I felt like a white pelted snow rabbit frozen in fear, wide blue eyes staring wildly out with my back turned to the wall.  It’s a feeling that I experience frequently like while walking in the park, I take with me my large Labrador on his protective prowl, and I still glance nervously over my shoulder often as if the large pawed tiger is going to leap from the trees at any moment and drag me off into the woods.  In my twenties I had recurrent dreams of being stalked by a man in a black coat whose face I…

  • Introspection,  ShadowWork,  Underworld Work

    Tara’s Descent

    “TThey carry her ashes carefully, deliberately, inside a basket. wrapped in bear fur, with flakes of charcoal from the burning of oak and hazel, and floating strands from her shroud. The blue winds of white horse hill numb the jaws of these far walkers So distant we can barely see them. The bairn’s dust is taken to the high hill, haunt of bleak vastness. A cairn is prepared, the old sounds made. Purple moor grass stuffed about the bounty, gathered in the browning-hills-time. Spindlewood ear studs, from such trees that still grow on the lower slopes, pelt, a woven belt of nettles. A necklace that behooves a sovereign, with precious…

  • Coven Work,  Fairy Tales Revisioned,  ShadowWork

    Body Prayer

    I am the North and I am cold bent hands As sunlit glitter falls from the sky I am the East and I am the breath of warm winds Blowing the smoke from her hair I am the South and I am transfixed by the dancing flame Until only the ashes of ghosts remain I am the West and I am the ebb and flow That builds the sand castles and washes them away I am drawn, trancelike, into this relentless and bitter cold land of the North by the brilliant colors just stirring on the horizon. I watch the first sliver of the red Sun God cautiously peek at…

  • Fairy Tales Revisioned,  ShadowWork,  Uncategorized,  Wheel Of Year

    Year of Balance

    Blessed grand morning 2019. It’s so nice to be with you.  I floated between the times on last year’s eve upon fluffy heart-centered poet’s clouds and awoke this morn with memories of swelling story-telling medicine inside of my soul.  This morning I feel lighter like I stepped right out of that fight club meme from yesteryear straight into the moonbeams of the new year.  Dreams, love and the holy play between light and shadows will guide my way and I’ve started the journey less resistant to what may come.  Some say the new year begins on Samhain but for me it is always heralded in closer to the Gregorian calendar’s…

  • Patriarchy,  ShadowWork,  Uncategorized

    Blanket Forts

    I feel so alone. I’m so sad. I’ve reverted back to my childhood blanket to cover my face and wipe away my tears. Sobs, complete body buzzes of anxiety, it’s the season, it’s a hard astrological year, it’s been deep and terrifying and healing all at once. I’m so deep in my depression fort that I must be the only one unable to resurface, what’s wrong with me, why am I so BAD? Suddenly I feel it the vibrations of that old childhood telephone that I constructed, you know the ones with a long cord in between two cups? It vibrates and pulls and on the end miraculously, magically because…

  • Patriarchy,  ShadowWork

    Patermas

    BLESSED BE THIS EVE OF DARK INNER DEMONS WILL NOW BARK CALL YOU UP FOR ME TO SEE FREEDOM IT WILL BE FROM THEE Anger.  This has been my year of anger.  Why?  Because TRUE SELF discovery can be painful when it requires that we take a look at our deepest core wounds, our wounded inner child, our self sabotaged teen, and supremely sad culture-bound adultish selves.  When you really start to see what it is that you’ve been through no matter how small to others the trauma might appear it can make you really FUCKING pissed.  I recently read that anger is really just our shitty reaction to our…