• Feminist,  Introspection,  Musings,  Patriarchy

    Know Your Worth

    I hate this phrase.  I frequently hear this phrase.  I question my sanity as to why I still listen to this phrase?  My heart convulses when it’s reiterated to me.  Who has decided that we have to know our worth?  I demand to know who makes these bullshit rules up anyhow.  Why do I hate it and listen to it simultaneously?  Is this phrase something that I believe in?  Is it something that I need to know?  Do I need to know my worth?   Would I ask another woman to “know her worth?” There’s something inside of me that tells me “I don’t think so.”  I love these overthinking exercises…

  • Anxiety,  Depression,  Introspection,  Musings,  Wheel Of Year,  Wounds of the Feminine

    Ode To Joy

    When I was younger I remember the sheer joy of the winter solstice season.  I remember sled riding in chest deep snow, the exhilaration of the cold wind on your warm cheeks, hot chocolate, building snow men and snow forts, reading a book curled up in a blanket, baking, hanging lights with those big old bulbs that you had to unscrew and replace, the same string of lights for YEARS that I reverently put out like they were the colorful lights of the divine, the nativity set that my mother hand painted, the quite moments at night or early in the morning that the tree would sparkle with all of…

  • Depression,  Feminist,  Musings,  Patriarchy,  ShadowWork,  Story Medicine,  Underworld Work,  Wounds of the Feminine

    PRAY WITH YOUR BODY AND YOU WILL FIND HER

    Sinking onto the floor in a puddle of child’s pose, I take a deep and sad breath in as I begin to move, to conjure up the something that has been missing in my life. My body moves in a sensual yogic dance… I WORSHIP I DANCE I PRAY I AM THE ECSTASY OF A SIMPLE SWAY And as I breathe in, I AM THE BLISS OF THE FIRST BREATH OF DAY.  Lighting a candle and setting sacred space I begin to feel them entering the room one at a time.  I call to my primal ancestors, my highest spirit guides, the energy of SHE, the Magdalene and the Christ…

  • Fairy Tales Revisioned,  Musings,  Revisioned Dark,  Scary Stories

    Scary Stories: Dark Hansel and Gretel

    Hansel and Gretel awoke to a feral-deep-growling thirst for life, and a sense of freedom in their lower bellies for their father had inadvertently given them new life by leaving them there in that deep dark woods.  They blinked their eyes slowly as they adjusted to the dark and wiped mud stained tears from their cheeks, the echoes of their excitement on hyperdrive as they strained to get a good look around.  They saw the breadcrumbs that Hansel had left as a trail to return that old life that never seemed to serve them well and they laughed to themselves when they were still on the ground.  “We won’t be…

  • Fairy Tales Revisioned,  Moon Medicine,  Musings

    Antler Moon Mythos

    And in the beginning there was she, she who is the primordial darkness that births forth all of life.  Before there was the time of the lost Gods, she was the faceless peace of the dark, and in her was everything.  From a single moaning, groaning breath of her own sheer satisfaction and pleasure she was birthed, the first creature to come forth and she was a wild horned shapeshifter, a goddess, a white mare and her wild desires that swirled in ribbons of ecstasy within her pelvic bowls made her roll upon the earth and splash into the rivers and play.  She rubbed mud all over in just the…

  • A.M.S.,  Introspection,  Musings

    Get Yourself a Muse or Three

    “No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.” -Martha Graham When “woe is me-ing” to one of my mentors over something I had created, she told me of this quote and suggested I find myself an Artistic Muse. She explained that we are so harsh in our own judgement that we shut things down without sharing them with the world even though the world may need them. Our own criticism can kill our gifts. My Artistic Muses are pretty fabulous weapons for tweaking and…

  • A.M.S.,  Introspection,  Musings

    The Voices In My Head

    I wrote this whole thing and the negative voices in my head are asking that I go back to the beginning and type a disclaimer about this not being the type of thing I usually write about. My self doubt wants you to know I’m having self doubt around writing about self doubt. Now that we got that out of the way… I watched a Facebook Live video this morning of a father wondering where his 13 year old’s self doubt comes from. Where all of our self doubt and negative self talk comes from. He said we aren’t born with self doubt, so at what point is it planted…